Thursday, May 30, 2013

Flash

Watching the performance by Ms. Robinson's dance class was enlightening. Although, I yelled at my friend who was flirting with a guy she said was "over with". Which is something that made me feel bad, since I yelled at her then noticed she barely gets attention from the oppostie sex.  But, one song that made me listen to the words were Without You by Kirk Franklin and other people that are never listed to give them credit. I was so moved by the song, I had it on replay at the house about six times before I ate dinner, made my mother listen to it, then 3 times after dinner before I cleaned up and got on the phone with one of my babies. That song, if people listen to the words, could touch a lot of hearts, especially mine.

Old Love

An Old Love Poem

There is a point in everyone's life where they dream
I used to be a dreamer too
Now I'm on the tail end of dreams and have...just one
I dream of being loved by you

Selfish dream, I know
but I always dreamed love would one day be true
and I gave it up, quit on it
and then there was you

And not I've got this terrible feeling
terribly lost and lonely too
and it's somehow turning out blue
and feels lost on you

Because in my dream
I reached out to touch you
and you reached for me too
I really wanted to believe it was true

But you shy away and silently play
as thought its just entertainment or something to do
but one heart is breaking in two
and the other is uncertain almost through

and there is nothing anybody can do
except for you
to reach for me
because I never needed anyone more than you

Cheater

Cheating Poem           
?


When a relationship of love is developed, a bond of trust is formed. There is an unspoken agreement that the two of you are committed to each other and that you will not see other people. When one of the members of this sacred bond choose to be intimate with another person, they are not only cheating their lover but they are cheating themselves as well. They are breaking their own bond of trust. In most situations, when a person cheats, it is not because of affection for a new lover. Rather, he may be searching for what is missing in his present relationship.
 


Source: Cheating Poems - Poems about Cheating http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/sad_love/cheating-poems.asp#ixzz2Umzq104k
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

Hmm, I guess i'm bothered by it a little more than I want to be. I don't even know when I became so attached to him.

Poem of a Broken Heart

This poem is about the pain of a broken heart

Tears

© Erika
Tears of blood fall from my broken heart
I never thought we would be apart

When you held me you said "forever"
Now that you're gone I know you meant "never"

Saying you love me with that look in your eye
And that was a cold hearted lie

Your tender touch, a soft kiss
Two things about you I will miss

As I sit here thinking about you
My face is wet with tears past due

I should've cried a long time ago
But I loved you so

I know they say love is blind
But I had only you on my mind

A hurt so deep it cuts like a knife
But wounds heal and I'll go on with my life


Source: Pain Of Broken Heart, Tears, Sad Poem about Love http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/pain-of-broken-heart-poem#ixzz2UmzNg2YH
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

Eventually, I'll get over him with someone new but it still bothers me from time to time.

Ghost of Prom's Past

Unfortunately I did not go to prom due to lack of funds. Although, I reminded my parents a thousand times I had no luck in getting the money. My supposed prom date didn't have the money to buy a suit was a little too late with his excuse. Now he has gotten a girlfriend with cartoon eyebrows, and a nappy afro weave. Disappointed with myself, I still have not gotten over the fact he got a girlfriend without forewarning me that he's seeing other women. Wait, I can't get mad because I did the same thing with more people though. I guess i'll have to use my prom dress for another occasion.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Myra

Finally finished the urban novel on Karma, the drama throughout the book was reveling. I was captivated by the introduction of the story, and the background of the characters were well thought. I applaud authors like this that can turn such fiction into realistic events that actually seem liveable. Although these urban novels contain sex, drugs, and money the turn of events can teach a rebel in the streets a lesson in life. This novel would teach a rebel in the streets a moral that their (grand)mother told them all their lives; Education is the only way for a man/woman to make six figures with a stable living enviroment.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Difficult

How can I be considered an adult in my family if I have no ground to stand on? I have no license, no job, no car, and no money. I applied to colleges and I applied for jobs, so far I was rewarded 28,000 dollars in one grant for a private college (that's not Shaw Unviersity). It's difficult for me to be mature in my family's eyes if I have nothing that credits me to be an adult.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Teen Shaming

Teen Shaming, a way of discipline now declared abusive. ’Teen shaming’, as ABC News reports, is “where girls target their peers online using social media.” In a nutshell, girls take pictures of themselves, and then use these pictures to criticize others. And unfortunately, it’s becoming a popular trend. Teens need to understand that every photo they post, and every comment they make, is permanent. These images and comments, can greatly impact them whether or not thay are admitted into universities or are hired at a future job.When parents force a girl to hold sign to publicly humiliate her for a perceived transgression, a part of society is pleased to see the issue of discipline at the fore — but as this trend seems to rise, it raises the question of whether “teen shaming” is an appropriate response to bad behavior.

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/645095/parents-force-girl-to-hold-sign-is-teen-shaming-abusive/#hr0yBOL83AJ56gA7.99
Or check this website for teen shaming between peers at http://www.ikeepsafe.org/socialnetworking/teen-shaming/

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Try this Recipe

Ingredients

box Betty Crocker® fudge brownie mix                       
Water, vegetable oil and eggs as called for on brownie mix box
1   cup semisweet chocolate chips
1  bag (14 oz) caramels, unwrapped
1/4   cup butter or margarine
1   tablespoon milk
1  cup pretzels, coarsely crushed
1/3   cup toffee bits

 
    • 1Heat oven to 350° F (325° F for dark and nonstick pan). Grease or spray 13x9-inch pan.
    • 2Make brownie batter as directed on box, using water, oil, and eggs; stir in 1/2 cup chocolate chips (reserve 1/2 cup). Spread into pan. Bake 24 to 28 minutes or until toothpick inserted 1 inch from edge comes out almost clean. Cool 5 minutes.
    • 3Meanwhile, in medium microwaveable bowl, microwave caramels, butter, and milk uncovered on High 2 to 3 minutes, stirring once, until caramels are melted. Carefully pour and spread over warm brownies. Sprinkle with pretzels, remaining 1/2 cup chocolate chips and toffee bits. Cool completely.
     
     
     

    Proud?

    Do gay men and women feel proud enough of their sexuality to go to Hell?
    Do teen mothers feel proud enough to be a junior in high school with a three year old child?
    Do christians feel proud enough to judge others when the bible says do not judge?
    Does President Obama feel proud of being President for being black?
    Does Trinidad James feel proud of making teens and adults take drugs?
    Is anyone truly proud of themselves?

    Lana Del Rey Lyrics that spoke to me

    "Dark Paradise"

    All my friends tell me I should move on
    I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
    Ahhh, that's how you sang it
    Loving you forever, can't be wrong
    Even though you're not here, won't move on
    Ahhh, that's how we played it

    And there's no remedy for memory your face is
    Like a melody, it won't leave my head
    Your soul is haunting me and telling me
    That everything is fine
    But I wish I was dead

    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you
    I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you
    I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

    All my friends ask me why I stay strong
    Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on
    Ahhh, that's why I stay here

    And there's no remedy for memory your face is
    Like a melody, it won't leave my head
    Your soul is haunting me and telling me
    That everything is fine
    But I wish I was dead

    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you
    I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you

    But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
    Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
    I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
    Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
    I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

    There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
    And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
    There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
    Telling me I'm fine

    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you
    I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
    Every time I close my eyes
    It's like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you

    But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
    Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
    I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
    Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
    I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

    Dark Poetry

    Addicted
    by a young woman, age 16

    I am addicted.
    I am addicted to Sex.
    In my addiction, my life is filled with only thinking about sex.
    In my addiction, I am glad to feel loved and needed.

    I am addicted.
    I am addicted to Sex.
    In my addiction, I hate to think about that they don’t really love me.
    In my addiction, the real me becomes hidden and ignored.

    I am addicted.
    I am addicted to Sex.
    In my addiction, betrayals of myself come in the form of moaning and scratches.
    In my addiction, I struggle to feel real.

    I am addicted.
    I am addicted to Sex.
    In my addition, I am hiding my true needing of LOVE.
    In my addiction, I’m in a constant battle with myself.

    I am addicted

    Lyrics to song I sung in the car on the way to school

    Yesterday I cursed youAnd told you that I was throughBut today I'm with youAin't that some love?
    Tomorrow you might hate meAnd find you somebody newBut today I'm with youAin't that some love?
    I ain't gon' lie, boy, you got meOut of my mind in L-O-V-E
    I go crazy when you love me, got me acting a messEven got the nerve to say you're better than my momma'sCollard greens and cornbread, yeahCollard greens and cornbread, yeah
    I never put up with BS from anyoneBut I take it from youAin't that some love?
    And I never had no onePut me through what you doBut as long as it's you, babyThat's some love
    Oh, I ain't gon' lie, boy, you got meOut of my mind in L-O-V-E
    I go crazy when you love me, got me acting a messEven got the nerve to say you're better than my momma'sCollard greens and cornbread, yeahCollard greens and cornbread, yeah
    Baby, and you're my sweet potato pieSugar, you know you areOh sugar, and I can't get enough of youBoy, I'm crazy bout what you do
    Oh, I aint gon' lie, boy, you got meOut of my mind in L-O-V-E
    I go crazy when you love me, got me acting a messEven got the nerve to say you're better than my momma'sCollard greens and cornbread, yeahCollard greens and cornbread, yeahCollard greens and cornbread, yeahCollard greens and cornbread, yeah, hey babe

    Read more: FANTASIA - COLLARD GREENS & CORNBREAD LYRICS

    Lyrics I sung while class

    Swv
    Weak lyrics

    Songwriters: MORGAN, BRIAN ALEXANDER / MURDOCK, SHIRLEY / TROUTMAN, ROGER / TROUTMAN, LARRY


    I don't know what it is that you've done to me
    But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way
    Whatever it is that you do when you what you're doin
    It's a feeling that I want to stay

    'cause my heart starts beating triple time
    With thoughts of lovin you on my mind
    I can't figure out just what to do
    When the cause and cure is you

    I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
    I loose all control
    And something takes over me
    In a daze, your loves' so amazing
    It's not a phase
    I want you to stay with me, by my side
    I swallow my pride
    Your love is so sweet
    It knocks me right off of my feet
    Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak

    Time after time after time I try to fight it
    But your loves' so strong
    It keeps on holding on
    Resistance is down when you're around prides' fading
    In no condition, I don't want to be alone
    Cause my heart starts beating triple times
    With thoughts of lovin you on my mind
    I can't figure out just what to do
    When the cause and cure is you

    I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
    I loose all control
    And something takes over me
    In a daze, your loves' so amazing
    It's not a phase
    I want you to stay with me, by my side
    I swallow my pride
    Your love is so sweet
    It knocks me right off of my feet
    Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak

    I try hard to fight it
    No way can I deny it
    You're loves so sweet
    It knocks me off my feet

    I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
    I loose all control
    And something takes over me
    In a daze, your loves so amazing
    It's not a phase
    I want you to stay with me, by my side
    I swallow my pride
    Your love is so sweet
    It knocks me right off of my feet
    Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak

    I get so weak
    Blood starts racin through my veins
    I get so weak
    Boy, it s something I can't explain
    I get so weak
    Something bout the way you do the things you do oo oo it.
    Knocks me right off of my feet (Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh)
    Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak

    I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
    I loose all control
    And something takes over me
    In a daze, your loves so amazing
    It's not a phase
    I want you to stay with me, by my side
    I swallow my pride
    Your love is so sweet
    It knocks me right off of my feet
    Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak

    Lyrics guys should follow

    Tyrese
    Stay lyrics

    Songwriters: SMITH, JAMES / GIBSON, TYRESE / ELLIOTT, ASALEANA / SLEDGE, AARON / LACY, CHRISTOPHER / HODGE, BRANDON


    No one ever said it'd be easy baby, yeah, woah, woah, yeah

    Girl I wanna take the time and thank you
    Just for putting up with me
    And I'm sorry that you even had to deal with me
    Even though I made you cry, I wanna make it right
    Just give me some time to make it right
    I go the extra mile to make you smile and
    Just to make your day
    I'll go out my way I'll do whatever it takes
    Baby promise you'll stay, stay
    Stay baby, would you just
    Stay, stay, baby
    Stay, stay, stay, stay
    Baby won't you stay?
    With me?

    I know that I messed up over a thousand times
    Said you wouldn't forgive me but somehow I changed your mind
    And now that we're here, I just can't let you go
    And I got you here, baby girl I gotta let you know
    I go the extra mile to make you smile and
    Just to make your day
    I'll go out my way I'll do whatever it takes
    Stay baby, would you just
    Stay, stay, baby
    Stay, stay, stay, stay
    Baby won't you stay?
    With me?
    Hey, stay, stay, stay

    Girl I need you in my world
    I want you to always be my girl
    Even though I messed up, uh I messed up
    You took good care, always took care of you
    Baby would you just stay
    Stay, stay, stay
    Stay right here
    Stay, stay, stay,
    Baby would you stay with me
    For the past out's working out baby
    Stay, stay, stay baby
    I want you to believe in me this time
    This time this time, I'ma get it together
    Stay, stay, what about the marriage life
    You were supposed to be my wife...
    I would put you through no more

    Emotional Playlist

    Here are a list of songs I listen to when i'm thinking about an old boyfriend, or when I have me time.

    First, this is a list of artists that I listen to:
    1. Boyz II Men
    2. Tamia
    3. Deborah Cox
    4. Usher
    5. Xscape
    6. Monica
    7. Mary J Blige
    8. Johnny Gill
    9. SWV
    10. Destiny's Child
    11. Lauryn Hill
    12. Tyrese
    etc. . .

    Next will be the songs I listen to by the artists listed above in the same order:

    1.  End of the Road , I'll Make Love to You , On Bended Knee
    2. Me
    3. Nobody's Suppose to Be Here , Who Do U Love
    4. Let it Burn, Confessions (Part I and Part II)
    5. Who Can I Run To , Just Kickin It , Am I Dreamin'
    6. Angel of Mine, For You I Will , Why I Love You So Much , Before You Walk Out My Life , Love All Over Me , Everything To Me
    7. I'm Goin Down , Enough Cryin
    8. My, My, My
    9. Weak
    10. No, No, No , Bills
    11. Sweetest Thing , Killing Me Softly
    12. Stay , Lately , How You Gonna Act Like That , Sweet Lady
    etc. . .

    Lyrics to live by

    TAMIA LYRICS

     "Me"
    [VERSE 1]
    Love was the former owner
    But quiet is renting our house
    It ceases my lips from speaking
    But forms a sarcastic smile
    Suspense now raised one of your eyebrows
    You asked me if there's someone else
    I replied yes hell yes

    [Bridge 1]
    You asked if it's another man I said NO
    You laughed and say is it a woman I say YES
    Surprisingly you ask me for honey's name

    [CHORUS]
    And her name is me
    And she loves me more than you'll ever know
    And I finally see that
    Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
    So patiently
    She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
    And to choose between you two
    Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me

    [VERSE 2]
    And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
    Cause if you haven't heard she's a bad chick
    Even though I haven't been no
    Yet and still you try and test me by raising an angry hand
    Put it down put it down

    [Bridge 2]
    I'm leaving don't try and stop me NO
    I'm late and she is waiting YES
    My love for me is too much so I can't stay

    [CHORUS]
    And her name is me
    And she loves me more than you'll ever know
    And I finally see that
    Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
    So patiently
    She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
    And to choose between you two
    Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me

    [VERSE 3]
    Cause she's actually forming a threesome
    And I'm happy that I can join them
    Their names are me myself and I

    [CHORUS]
    And her name is me
    She loves me more than you'll ever know
    I finally see that
    Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
    So patiently
    She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
    And to choose between you two
    Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me
    She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
    Gotta to choose between you two
    And you know if I have to choose I choose me
    I gotta go with me

    An Old Love of Mine

    An old love of mine, left me a year and a half ago without an explanation or evidence to prove why hurting me was a better option. What circumstances were you under  for you to use your family as an excuse? I tried to help you, my mother decided to take you with her to enroll back into school, my aunt gave you and your brother a place to stay, but you felt we were against you? Now you come back saying you were wrong, that I left you and you have the faintest recognition of the day that lead to my heartache. Will I keep letting you make the situation about you like I did before? Or will I be me?

    What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why by Edna St. Vincent Millay

    What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why (Sonnet XLIII)

    by Edna St. Vincent Millay

    What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why, 
    I have forgotten, and what arms have lain 
    Under my head till morning; but the rain 
    Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh 
    Upon the glass and listen for reply, 
    And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain 
    For unremembered lads that not again 
    Will turn to me at midnight with a cry. 
    Thus in winter stands the lonely tree, 
    Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one, 
    Yet knows its boughs more silent than before: 
    I cannot say what loves have come and gone, 
    I only know that summer sang in me 
    A little while, that in me sings no more.